So, You Want a Job ?
Grandma Mabel used to tell people exactly what she was thinking. “Your blouse is ugly.” “That hairstyle does absolutely nothing for you.” Friend or stranger, she would tell them her thoughts then lean over to her companion (who was invariably red faced) and say “well, if I don’t tell them who will? It simply had to be said.”
When I was that companion I would just sit quietly, afraid if I spoke she’d notice my outfit, or I’d smile meekly, in apology, at the person she had just ‘corrected.’ I also silently vowed to never do that. I am wired for appreciation, complimenting and building people. If they want to wear the wrong hair style, who am I to say differently?
Well, I’ll tell you, I’ve reached the age where I have to catch my tongue. Without intent, I am a little bit Grandma Mabel and fear I could be even more so given enough time. I often think to myself “If I don’t tell them, who will?” Some of this is the result of being a coach, being the person people turn to for honesty and growth, some of it is impatience. If you whine that you want a job but no-one is hiring you, I can coach you through it, or I can just tell you. I hope you will indulge me today; no coaching. I am about to just tell you exactly what Grandma Mabel would say if she were here. It is for your own good.
1. You look like you just rolled out of bed. There is no order to your clothing, your hair is a mess and the lack of respect you show yourself is what I am afraid you will show my customers. Clean up, and then ask me for a job.
2. You need a breath mint. You obviously need a breath mint before every encounter. I don’t know if its coffee, hygiene, or health, I just know I don’t want to ride in a car or elevator with you.
3. Okay toxic cloud. You are trying to cover up your smoking with perfume, cologne, body spray or something else and the combination seems deadly. I always tell children “don’t do it if you aren’t going to be proud of it.” If you smoke, smell like it. You must be proud that you smoke, so don’t try to hide it. If you are not proud, stop. (However, a good dose of fabric freshener does go a long ways in improving residual aromas.)
4. When it is time for your interview if you text me ‘run n L8. B thr soon. LOL.’ I will reply thusly: Because you show an inability to manage your time and appear to have no grammatical skills, you may stop running. The job, sadly, will not be yours. BOL.
5. When you are laid off, please be honest with me about the reason. It is also a good idea to have a bit of a spin. Recently a friend’s position was eliminated. I had seen the red flag weeks before; the job he was hired to do, fill apartments, was done quite well, they were almost full. When they were filled, wala, no more job. I suggest his commercial be “I was able to help xxxx reach capacity in six months, at which time the position was eliminated.” No, he did not anticipate his job would be cut and probably other factors played into it the decision, but if , as a prospective employer, I hear that he helped them reach a goal, and I can see that he is positive about the experience, I am more likely to hire him for my company.
6. Shhh! If I cannot hear myself think because you are going on and on about how great you are, the weather, your dog, and the big game, I will not be thinking “now this is a catch!” Answer my questions in full sentences. Perhaps ask me a question in return, of course listening to the answer. Do not ramble. Do not shout, pontificate, boast or mumble. Let’s just talk. If I hire you we will do a lot of communicating and I want to know that what you say is worth hearing.
I now know that sometimes we elders talk to you like this for your own good. As a matter of fact, I could go on and on with these simple truths, but being serially blunt has used up on my daily quota of old lady nerves. Just know that when you are looking for a job you need to listen to the Grandma Mabels of the world as well as the coach Karens. You do not have to listen to the people who say “I always knew you were a deadbeat.” That is not helpful. You know the difference between negativity and constructive counsel. Listen to one, ignore the other. I am confident you can and will be a great employee; you just have to act like it before you ask for the job.
So, you want a job…What are you going to do about it now?
Be sure to connect and follow Karen Grosz via her Synergy Station Directory Listing.
