*Too Frack’n Busy…Part VI
*What happened in the world this week while you were in the oil patch and were too frack’n busy to notice ?
Wyoming town up for auction. Tired of living in a man camp, or paying too much for rent? Well now you can buy a whole frack’n town in Wyoming with the bids starting at $100,000. Buford, Wyoming boasts a trading post, its own zip code, a gas station, a three bedroom house, a garage, a school house and one resident (but he’s the one selling and moving away). Imagine owning your own town. If you want to run for mayor, you’ll run unopposed. You could be the bank president (if Buford, um, had a bank). If you want to park your RV in the street and grow dandelions in your yard, you won’t tick off the neighbors- mostly because you don’t have any. In Buford, you don’t just get to be king of the castle. You are supreme ruler of your own empire (which I guess in this case, is you).
Florida teen wears embarrassing sign after flunking 3 classes: Michael Bell Jr. of Miami Florida was instructed by his dad to stand on the corner of a busy intersection wearing a sandwich board sign informing motorists of his failing grades. We’d like to give this dad a high-five. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all had to wear signs declaring our indiscretions and failures to the world at large? I bet we could knock out infidelity in no time if cheating spouses had to wear a sign that said, “I cheated on my spouse. Honk if you think that makes me a low-life.” We could eradicate teen drug use practically overnight if teens caught using drugs had to stand on a street corner with a sign draped around their necks declaring, “I smoked dope. Honk if you think I’m going to end up on this street-corner permanently.” Let’s go right ahead and include politicians in this stroke of creative genius. “I added trillions of dollars to the national debt during my administration. Honk if you think I’m just another power-hungry snake who paid lip-service on the campaign trail.”
Russian and South Korean scientists to clone woolly mammoth. That’s a swell idea. You know what this planet really needs? More elephant sized creatures milling around that eat 660 pounds of vegetation and drink 50 gallons of water A DAY. Isn’t Russia still trying to come back from three years of intense drought? It doesn’t sound like that is an area that can spare vegetation OR water. And South Korea? Don’t they have enough troubles with their neighbors to the north, without worrying about hairy beasts decimating the country-side? This leads us right back to that old adage- just because you CAN doesn’t mean you should. Can’t these scientists clone birds, or a species that is a bit less intrusive with less of an appetite? The woolly mammoth became extinct for a reason. If we are going to insist on perpetrating this practice, can’t we just stick to sheep and cats for a few more years?
Homeless hotspots debut in Austin Texas. At the South by Southwest conference in Austin, Texas this year, homeless people have been given devices that allow them to serve as a paid wi-fi connection for conference attendees. Of course some people are incredibly offended by the idea of using homeless people as a wireless router, but Front Step, the homeless advocacy group behind the publicity stunt says that it is run like a business for the homeless participants, and that they keep the money. Folks in the Bakken know that need can pave the way for opportunity, so how do you feel about this? Is it a shameless exploitation of the homeless or is it a win-win for the homeless participants and those in need of a hotspot? Either way, we can only hope that the wi-fi connection the homeless people are providing is more reliable than some connections out there. It’s one thing to scream obscenities at a box sitting in the corner, or at your wireless device. It’s quite another to scream obscenities at a human being who already has his or her share of troubles.
*Note: Please seek traditional media outlets for real news and headlines. This feature is only meant to distract you from the daily grind of the oil fields for a few moments and add some levity to your day .
Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook
