Unfortunately, at both the corporate and personal level, probably very few, yet it is no secret, that productive two way communication is the single most fundamental component of prosperous and lasting relationships.  Conversely the absence of productive communication is an almost certain guarantee of dysfunctional and ineffective interaction.  Left unchecked the breaches created by the lack of communication at the corporate and community level could suppress every facet of productivity including continued growth and prosperity. In a world where communication occurs at the speed of bits and bytes the absence of productive communication is amplified.

Why does that matter?  But more importantly how does this topic of productive, relatable communication translate to the Bakken?

For most of us we frequently hear the replays of parent tapes in the recesses of our memories.  For me, of all the things my father told me, “People won’t listen unless they asked to be told” is probably the one that has made the most difference in my world.  My dad, with his quiet wisdom, offered both the problem and the solution in that nine word utterance.  People won’t listen, a problem that plagues us all.  And upon review of the Bakken microcosm, a dilemma magnified by the shear level of economic activity. Raising your voice, pounding your fist or spitting sentences of venom in a blog won’t fix the problem either. 

Getting folks to ask to be told is the solution, and it is the one the TRAC Team decided to tackle when designing the 2013 Convergence Session at the upcoming TRAC Regional Energy Convergence and Trade Show in Billings, MT.  Imagine if you will community members, business representatives, and civic leaders each as a stream of people, with problems and solutions, ideas and beliefs, all flowing into the Billings Hotel and Convention Center August 1^st.   Many of them, the ones who want to listen, the ones who want to be heard, will join together for four hours of conversation.  The kind of conversation that makes people ask to be told.  The kind of conversation that shapes community.  We call this coming together Convergence.

An initiative inspired by Synergy Station co-founder Kendall McRae, keynoted by Dr. Lydia Pugh, and facilitated by Karen Grosz CPC, and a team of willing volunteers the Convergence is a different way to hear and to be heard.  Utilizing the latest in technology, the best trends in communication and the energy that only a crowd can bring, Convergence is designed with unique interactions, powerful conversations, and new opportunities to shape an amazing future as we harvest these vast energy resources.

Convergence at TRAC, is not a PR campaign or retrofitted marketing ploy.  It is   a rare opportunity to come together with individuals from all areas of community, business and the energy industry to build rapport, establish relationships, and lay the groundwork for solving tough industry challenges. Together, these efforts will be used to take deliberate action in the development of pragmatic strategies for success. 

Convergence offers the solution dad’s statement begged for, people listening because they have asked to be told and people who have something to say because they listened.

The recent crude oil production decline in the Bakken has given some cause to worry that the “Good Times” are ending.  The failure to hit oil production targets in October and November 2012, have caused some initial concern.  This decrease in production, the first in 19 months, was blamed on weather conditions, as well as efficiency measures of many producers.

We understand that Minot now has over 3,400 hotel rooms, with occupancy rates around 50%.  Some hoteliers are concerned.  The Bank of North Dakota is no longer making loans on hospitality properties.  The rig count is down from a record high of 218 rigs in May 2012.  In December 2012, the rig count was 184 rigs in the Baaken.

What does this mean to you and your business?  Well………….. go slow, the end of the world is not in sight!  That is the first thing that you must know.  Remember, for everything that goes up, it also must come back down—a simple law of physics.  OK, now, my business—what am I to do to address these concerns?

The first consideration is not to panic. Carefully look at where you are and where you are going.  Perhaps you may need to get out of some long term contracts.  Reducing inventory that is not selling and “trimming” lines that are no longer profitable are ways to reduce costs.  Look at employee expenses—if everyone is not busy, consider either realigning skill and tasks, or reducing staff.

Now is the time that when professional business consultation really makes money.  Yes, there are fees involved, however, those fees will normally save you many times the value of the fee with the results attained by the consultants’ recommendations.  Remember, do not panic, however, carefully review where you are in your business cycle and make prudent adjustments to continue forward.

Coal entrepreneur John P. Baugues Jr. has joined forces with Management Energy, Inc. to open a new mine in coal-rich Montana.

The partnership brings together successful coal mine developer John Baugues  and a nationally recognized team of consultants at Management Energy, an exploration stage company that also specializes in coal extraction and distribution.

The new company, led by John Baugues, is looking to Carbon County for its next venture. Carbon County is known for its high-quality low sulfur coal reserves.

With Baugues at the helm, the coal mine developers have already begun laying the foundation for future mining operations. The company currently has agreements to purchase and develop two coal fields in

The new coal projects come on the heels of another Baugues coal initiative – the Bull Mountain coal mine, which opened as Signal Peak in 2009. Bull Mountain was the first underground mine to open in Montana in the last three decades and sparked new interest in the development of Montana’s rich coal reserves. John Baugues Jr. led the Bull Mountain coal mine project and sold it to Ohio-based First Energy for over $350 million plus royalties.

With John Baugues’ decades-long experience in the coal mining business, a proven track record in new mine development and intimate knowledge of the intricacies of Montana coal, the Carbon County coal mines are being looked to as models of 21st Century coal development as well as engines of economic growth in the area.

Like many of my colleagues, I have found myself in awe of the drastically changing energy landscape around me. Both technologically and economically, the world of energy is not what it used to be. Precious resources that allow the modern world to exist are becoming harder to find and much more difficult to extract, but advances in drilling technology, such as directional drilling, are a tribute to humanity’ ability to innovate when needed. Nowhere on Earth is this more prevalent than in the Bakken Formation of North Dakota, where I have spent the last year working, learning, living and observing as the energy world changes.

After finishing my undergrad–‐‑uate work at the University of Wyoming in 2010, I found myself wondering what was next. The U.S. economy was in shambles and the job market was dismal. I was 26 with no job, wife or kids.   All I had was a head full of raw knowledge and a diploma declaring that I knew a thing or two about how the Earth worked. After years of study, I felt confident in my ability to understand the geologic processes shaping the world around me, but I didn’ have the first clue about how to turn this knowledge into a career.

As fate would have it, I was offered a job in my native central Florida investigating sinkholes for insurance companies. But after less than a year back home, I began to catch wind of how many of my college brethren were taking advantage of the oil and gas boom occurring in North Dakota. I heard stories of geologists earning double or triple what I was making, and living a playboy lifestyle with weeks off at a time. A few phone calls later and without even a single application submitted, I found myself driving across the country with dollar signs in my eyes and all of my possessions in the back of my SUV. Just how much my life was about to change was anyone’ guess.

Tough Work for Tough People

Finding work was easier than expected. A simple inquiry on Facebook revealed half a dozen college friends working in the oilfields, all of whom indicated that their companies were seeking young geologists. A week after submitting my résumé, I was interviewing in Billings, Mont., for a well site geologist position. After an hour long interview and a couple of beers over lunch, I was told to report to Williston, N.D., in early December for training.

A few short months later, I found myself sitting in a trailer in the shadow of a multimillion dollar oil rig, staring at a cluster of computer screens that couldn’ have been more confusing had they been in Greek. From the highway, the rig appeared as a beacon of hope for the future of domestic energy and American oil independence. But inside the work trailer it was a bit of a different story.

Diesel soaked clothing, the constant groaning of the rig, heavy equipment to evade and 90 hour work weeks were the immediate hurdles that had to be negotiated while working and living not a hundred meters from the rig for up to two months at a time. This was certainly a far cry from the comfortable 9 to 5 work day I had become accustomed to in Florida, but the promise of quick fortune extinguished any lingering doubts associated with the work conditions. In addition, before long, I found a strong sense of pride in the hard work and long hours I was putting in with my colleagues in the oilfields. The last hurdle I had to pass in becoming comfortable as a well site geologist was safety. This job can be dangerous:  The equipment is enormous. The 10 hour OSHA training required to become a well site geologist quickly became the cornerstone of self preservation.  Thankfully, safety has become the primary goal these days, even above production, and after a short while the scene grew less intimidating.

To read more on Tyler’s perspective in Earth Magazine October 2012 Click Here

]]> http://synergystation.com/economy/the-bakken-boom-and-the-new-wild-west/feed/ 0 http://synergystation.com/economy/oil-ng-coal-plays/bakken/too-frackin-busy/too-frackin-busy/ http://synergystation.com/economy/oil-ng-coal-plays/bakken/too-frackin-busy/too-frackin-busy/#comments Thu, 07 Jun 2012 02:12:12 +0000 Laura McRae http://synergystation.com/?p=6024 This is for all you hard working folks in the Bakken !  When you get done with your 20 + hour shift all you want is a hot shower, a solid meal, some piece and quiet, possibly a stiff drink, and a soft bed.  So making time to watch America’s Got Talent may not be on your agenda, but take a moment and view the following contestant, Andrew De Leon:

Make up – $10.00

Special Contacts – $45.00

Goethe Gear – $150.00

Howard Stearn Speechless – PRICELESS !!!

And, fire up your forklifts, cuz most of us still have our jaws on the floor !

The answer - hydraulic fracturing (aka fracking).  But, that’s where the similarity ends.  While North Dakota has embraced this prolific drilling technique; New York has feigned distaste, citing environmental concerns.  In spite of record unemployment throughout the state (8.5% in March 2012) and a heavy consumption of energy downstate (4% of the US total), the Empire State has chosen to view fracking as controversial and has placed a moratorium on the technique within the state; leaving New York as a non-participant in the lucrative Marcellus Shale.

The Marcellus Shale, one of the largest shale regions in the United State is a rich resource for natural gas and it’s estimated to be the second largest natural gas find in the world. The geographic footprint of the Marcellus is significant; stretching across New York, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Ohio and Maryland.  The USGS (United States Geological Survey) estimates the formation’s total area to be around 95,000 square miles, ranging in depth from 4,000 to 8,000 feet. This translates to a 400 year old a shale formation believed to contain more than 410 trillion cubic feet of natural gas, having the potential to supply U.S. consumer energy needs for hundreds of years.

Technological advances in horizontal drilling, coupled with hydraulic fracturing have allowed energy companies to unlock the energy resources from the Marcellus Shale, while protecting drinking water sources and the environment.  While some areas in the Marcellus Shale are currently in development, recent studies show increased access could create thousands of jobs and help stimulate the economy. A study by Timothy J. Considine, an economics professor at the University of Wyoming, shows increased access in the Marcellus Shale formation could create 280,000 jobs and produce over $6 billion in government revenue.  Pennsylvania has chosen to harness this opportunity in the Marcellus and estimates that each well drilled within its borders generates:

• 62 jobs
• $2.8 million in direct economic benefits from gas company purchases
• $1.5 million from industry workers spending wages, or land owners spending royalties from lease payments
• $2 million in local, state, and federal tax revenue

…..and yet New York is not participating in it’s own economic recovery due to its stance on hydraulic fracturing.

Source:  Manhattan Institute’s “The Economic Opportunities of Shale Energy Development”, June 2011

On the Flip Side:

The North Dakota Bakken Boom has had such a significant impact on the state, that the local Chamber of Commerce in the community of Williston, ND (population: who knows?…it grows daily) has had to automate its phone system because it can no longer respond to individual calls or emails.  Just dial 701-577-6000 and select option #1.

While in this techie age, the voice generated, how many buttons do I have to push to get a live body is the norm…it hasn’t been the norm in Williston (the heart of the Bakken Boom) until recently.  Continued economic woes through this country and a world class technology oil play in the western North Dakota has resulted in a mass flockin’ to the Bakken….in search of or the recapture of the American dream.

Your Chamber friendly voice informs, that “due to the influx of inquiries” the Williston Chamber can no longer respond individually or mail out information packets.  Instead you are referred to their website for a list of job search contacts, but are warned of the general lack of housing (temporary or permanent).

Despite Obama campaign rhetoric of 2008 of “Change we can believe in” and the lemmings over the cliff (aka faithful followers) chanting “Yes We Can”, our nation’s anemic economic recovery continues.  So having a place with too many jobs and too many full hotel rooms seems a bit unbelievable.

Could someone at the Williston Chamber of Commerce make an exception and mail relocation packets to some of the distressed citizens of upstate New York who have been on unemployment for 99 weeks?  For in North Dakota with an unemployment rate of 3%, and an economy that is literally going through the roof, the slogan is “oil can!”

I personally don’t know what the gaming hype is about, but these words came to mind when starting a new office job. Unfortunately it started at the management level and just rolled down hill from there, affecting all that had the unfortunate experience of stepping in front of the avalanche!

The first month was spent in utter shock as I watched two new employees get fired as they obviously could not get on the angry bird train. Had a very hard time at the micro managing of every breathing second in that office. At times looking at me and saying, hmm thought I was an adult here. The spankings came in never ending waves! Me holding my tongue because I really needed the job (like most).

The cussing and childish behavior from management was never ending, seemingly holding the market on how to treat employees in a demeaning manner. Screaming across the office, you just duck as they flew over and when they walked in the room, you as well as all the other employees seemed to duck, eyes straight to the computer screen or down to paper, trying to not make eye contact, as you didn’t want to be the next recipient of whatever they wanted to throw.

For employers: Did you know that you can yell without raising your voice? It’s all in your approach. You may be an angry bird, but where does that anger come from? Did that employee really do something so terrible, or are you just frustrated with an out some that you simply don’t like?

Instead of approaching an employee with “How many times do I have to tell you!? How about a simple question like “why”? Wouldn’t it be better to give an employee a chance for an explanation (maybe they hadn’t done the dastardly deed!) Without giving them an opportunity to explain, all your doing is adding to an already tense situation without giving them a voice. Of course if you have an Angry Bird Hitler syndrome, all your really wanting to hear is your voice, so it doesn’t matter what a reasonable person would think. Just maybe all the frustration and anger that you portray in your own voice will result in a viable employee leaving or even worse, staying and being miserable and adopting the Angry Bird Syndrome.

Questions for the Angry Bird Employer

Have you notices that conversations stop when you walk into the room?

Have you noticed a lack of smiles and giggles? (Oh that’s right, employees are here to be productive, not happy!) Heaven forbid that they have the multi-tasking ability of typing and smiling at the same time

Do you watch employees arrive, seemingly tired, everything in black and white like the first few frames of Joe vs. the Volcano (great movie)

Can you see employees waiting by the time clock waiting to punch speaking in low voices (usually about the interview they have at lunch)

All I’m saying is maybe it’s time to look at yourself, instead of placing blame on others. You hired them, there must have been some attribute for them to be there. Maybe you don’t care about employee retention, of course that is saying you don’t care about the money spent on training these people. And of course if you don’t care about the money, then why are you in business?

As for me…I don’t like to duck and avalanches are not my friend….I’m no longer there…

Are those Bakken bucks just piling up around you and you don’t know what to do about it?  Sure, you could invest in retirement funds, the stock market, real estate or gold, but hasn’t all that stuff been done already?  Those investment opportunities are so 50 years ago. BORING.  Last week readers enjoyed www.dudeiwanthat.com so much, that I thought I would spend a little more time this week finding unique things for you to blow your cash on.  I’m not a financial advisor or anything, but you should find these suggestions from our friends at www.bradfordexchange.com most helpful… 

Contemporary eagle fan.  Contemporary?  Let’s not get carried away.  As opposed to what?  Antique eagle fans of yesteryear?  Few things say, “I’ve run out of things to spend my money on” like a bronze statue of an animal that doubles as a fan.  Some people view these novelties as conversation pieces.  It is difficult, however, to have a conversation when an item begs just one question: why?  Why not just tether a real eagle to a post in your living room and poke him until he flaps his wings.  That should cool you off quite nicely.  It should also place you squarely on PETA’s hit list.  Better stick with the contemporary eagle fan for just $125.00.

Replica ceremonial warrior headdress wall décor.  Native American history isn’t my forte, but I’m guessing there isn’t a self-respecting warrior, anywhere, who would wear this thing.  I looked up images of REAL warrior headdresses and oddly enough, I didn’t find any with eagles painted on them. Still, in fairness, this isn’t meant to be worn. It is meant to be hung as “art” and proudly displayed on your wall so if you are a fan of The Village People then by all means spend $29.99 on this.  It is, after all, offered exclusively through The Bradford Exchange and “high demand is expected, so order now.”

 Simon Lauren’s pose-able baby orangutan doll:  There’s a line into disturbing and we just crossed it.  The description suggests we: “Cradle in your arms the sweetest simians around with this lifelike baby orangutan doll.”  Okay.  What would you do if you walked into your buddy’s place and he was “cradling this sweet simian”?  You’d probably call the dudes in the white jackets, right?  But wait, there’s more.  Bradford Exchange also wants us to know that the orangutan dolls are:  “Handcrafted of RealTouch® vinyl to capture every lifelike detail right down to the folds and creases in their hands and feet, each pose-able orangutan doll in this collection begs to be pampered with gentle wisps of hand-applied auburn hair.”  Wow!  Pose-able AND hand-applied auburn hair?  We can have all this AND cross over into full blown dementia all for only $99.99?  Much like the warrior headdress, “Strong demand is anticipated, so don’t delay. Order now!”

The ultimate dragon fantasy cuckoo clock.  It seemed appropriate to end this list of suggested investments with a cuckoo clock.  “Experience a fantasy art battle of the beasts each hour with this dynamic dragon décor.  Dramatic medieval details include a swinging “medallion” pendulum and two shimmering decorative “blades.” Plus, a tiny sculptural dragon emerges to mark each hour with a victorious roar!”  This is the perfect accent for that Budweiser mirror and wolf throw blanket you won at the fair a few years ago!  At only $149.95, you can take this theme to the next level with a dragons playing poker figurine collection, a dragon wallet and a dragon leather jacket.  That should pretty much cement your single status for awhile.

*Note: Please seek traditional media outlets for real news and headlines. This feature is only meant to distract you from the daily grind of the oil fields for a few moments and add some levity to your day .

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook

Tide detergent being stolen from stores across the country.  Huh?  Tide?  Why Tide?  According to this headline, Tide is like “liquid gold” on the black market because it is easily recognizable and the most expensive detergent.  So we are supposed to believe that Tide has become a status symbol that poor people are trading on the black market?  How glamorous or desirable can a CLEANING PRODUCT be?  In St. Paul Minnesota a guy got busted for stealing $25,000 in Tide in a little over a year!  Don’t people have any self respect anymore?  For example, if you work in the Bakken, people are intrigued by that because it is the biggest boom this country has seen in a long time and it’s history in the making.  But if you’re like that jerk in St. Paul and someone asks what you do for a living, you answer, “I steal Tide and sell it on the black market.”  Oh, and this was rich too.  “Social media outlets are blaming the trend on the economy and higher gas prices.”  Really?  Let’s try and look past the fact that it’s become completely acceptable for “reputable” news outlets to quote social media sites.  If we can process through that, now we have to examine the absurdity of this claim.  If it really is about a poor economy and higher gas prices, wouldn’t people be stealing bread, or frozen pizza or beer? As if someone who has officially bottomed out because of a bad economy and escalating gas prices is going to say, “That’s it.  I lost my job, I can’t afford to drive my car, I’m about to lose my house.  I’m going to go steal some Tide.”  I’ll be keeping an eye on this story, because if I’m a betting gal, my guess is that Tide is somehow linked to drugs.  Perhaps it has been determined as the most effective detergent in cleaning up a Meth lab or something like that. Stay tuned. 

Huggies diaper ad backfires among dads.  Seems dads across the country thought Huggie’s new diaper campaign, which depicted dads as big dumb animals who couldn’t change a diaper, was a load of, um, poo.  I’m glad these dads took a stand on this, because I for one am sick and tired of men being portrayed as barely house-trained cavemen when it comes to domestic life and television commercials.  I’ll never forget that television commercial where a wife was publicly chastising her husband for burning up the lawn with weed killer and making him feel like he should just be locked up in a zoo with the other hapless apes who couldn’t properly kill weeds.  And no, I’m not going to turn this into a pointed discussion on how feminism has taken a hostile and emasculating turn.  All I’m saying is I can change a diaper, but I can’t work in the Bakken oil fields on a grueling shift, I can’t work in the middle of the earth like my friend who is a miner and holds a 135 pound drill for 12 hours straight, and I can’t work out in the cold like the construction guys I work with.  Yet hammer companies aren’t portraying me trying to drive a nail as a blonde ding-a-ling who accidentally pulverizes her thumb with a waffle hammer.  And if they did, Gloria Allred would be all over them faster than you can say dirty diaper.  That concludes my speech. 

George Clooney and his father arrested at Sudanese Embassy:  Good for George.  He successfully raised awareness through this publicity stunt for the humanitarian crisis in northern Africa.  We are glad there are people like him who have the time and money to dedicate to these causes while the rest of us are earning a living.  Humanitarian travesties are nothing to laugh at, and that is not what I’m doing.  All I’m saying is now that George has been arrested, could we just throw away the key?  Think of the awareness that will create!  May as well take this all the way George.  Brad Pitt could not be reached for comment when the media wanted to know if he would be posting bail for George. 

Strangest things to buy online:  Not sure what you should do with some of that Bakken change rattling around in your pocket?  According to this headline, during tough economic times, people resort to selling bizarre things like cornflakes that look like Jesus, canoes with see-through bottoms and owl vomit.  Yes, owl vomit.  The manufacturer claims the following:  “Kids and puke go hand in hand! This brand new box set combines the thrill of dissecting owl puke and rebuilding skeletons with the hypoallergenic and sanitary means that only modern manufacturing can provide. The sanitary and synthetic pellets will provide hours of fun. Complete kit comes with two kinds of pellets, bone sorting chart, dissection tray, and magnifier.”  I can’t really ascertain what is more outrageous here.  The marketing of owl vomit, or the claim that, “Kids and puke go hand in hand.”  If your kid likes to pick through vomit, we need to talk.  So walk, don’t run to websites like www.dudeiwantthat.com.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go purchase anatomical leggings, which “create the illusion of visible muscle.”  Bye-bye gym pass.

*Note: Please seek traditional media outlets for real news and headlines. This feature is only meant to distract you from the daily grind of the oil fields for a few moments and add some levity to your day .

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook

Wyoming town up for auction. Tired of living in a man camp, or paying too much for rent? Well now you can buy a whole frack’n town in Wyoming with the bids starting at $100,000. Buford, Wyoming boasts a trading post, its own zip code, a gas station, a three bedroom house, a garage, a school house and one resident (but he’s the one selling and moving away). Imagine owning your own town. If you want to run for mayor, you’ll run unopposed. You could be the bank president (if Buford, um, had a bank). If you want to park your RV in the street and grow dandelions in your yard, you won’t tick off the neighbors- mostly because you don’t have any. In Buford, you don’t just get to be king of the castle. You are supreme ruler of your own empire (which I guess in this case, is you).

Florida teen wears embarrassing sign after flunking 3 classes:  Michael Bell Jr. of Miami Florida was instructed by his dad to stand on the corner of a busy intersection wearing a sandwich board sign informing motorists of his failing grades.  We’d like to give this dad a high-five. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all had to wear signs declaring our indiscretions and failures to the world at large?  I bet we could knock out infidelity in no time if cheating spouses had to wear a sign that said, “I cheated on my spouse.  Honk if you think that makes me a low-life.”  We could eradicate teen drug use practically overnight if teens caught using drugs had to stand on a street corner with a sign draped around their necks declaring, “I smoked dope.  Honk if you think I’m going to end up on this street-corner permanently.”  Let’s go right ahead and include politicians in this stroke of creative genius.  “I added trillions of dollars to the national debt during my administration.  Honk if you think I’m just another power-hungry snake who paid lip-service on the campaign trail.” 

Russian and South Korean scientists to clone woolly mammoth.  That’s a swell idea.  You know what this planet really needs?  More elephant sized creatures milling around that eat 660 pounds of vegetation and drink 50 gallons of water A DAY.  Isn’t Russia still trying to come back from three years of intense drought?  It doesn’t sound like that is an area that can spare vegetation OR water.  And South Korea?  Don’t they have enough troubles with their neighbors to the north, without worrying about hairy beasts decimating the country-side?  This leads us right back to that old adage- just because you CAN doesn’t mean you should.  Can’t these scientists clone birds, or a species that is a bit less intrusive with less of an appetite?  The woolly mammoth became extinct for a reason.  If we are going to insist on perpetrating this practice, can’t we just stick to sheep and cats for a few more years?

 Homeless hotspots debut in Austin Texas.  At the South by Southwest conference in Austin, Texas this year, homeless people have been given devices that allow them to serve as a paid wi-fi connection for conference attendees.  Of course some people are incredibly offended by the idea of using homeless people as a wireless router, but Front Step, the homeless advocacy group behind the publicity stunt says that it is run like a business for the homeless participants, and that they keep the money.  Folks in the Bakken know that need can pave the way for opportunity, so how do you feel about this?  Is it a shameless exploitation of the homeless or is it a win-win for the homeless participants and those in need of a hotspot?  Either way, we can only hope that the wi-fi connection the homeless people are providing is more reliable than some connections out there.  It’s one thing to scream obscenities at a box sitting in the corner, or at your wireless device.  It’s quite another to scream obscenities at a human being who already has his or her share of troubles.

*Note: Please seek traditional media outlets for real news and headlines. This feature is only meant to distract you from the daily grind of the oil fields for a few moments and add some levity to your day .

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook

Oscar wins boost “Artist,” “Separation,” and “Undefeated.”  This headline proves my theory that “Best Picture” Oscars are a thinly veiled attempt to boost ticket sales for otherwise unknown pictures.  If you watched the Oscars (which you didn’t because you were either working your tail off in the Bakken, or not willing to spend what little disposable time you have watching a complete self-indulgent snooze-fest) you were one of millions of people shouting at the TV every time The Artist won an Oscar.  It won FIVE frack’n Oscars, so that’s a lot of screaming.  This year, the Academy outdid itself celebrating a catalog of movies we didn’t see and don’t want to see.  And now, according to this headline, ticket sales have gone through the roof for these otherwise completely unknown features.  As if to solidify just how out of touch Hollywood is with the rest of the country, I offer the following quote about The Artist:  “This is a testament to the playability of this film,” Erik Lomis, The Weinstein Company‘s chief of distribution, told TheWrap Sunday. “It’s in its 15th week, and people are starting to find out about it in the smaller markets.” Wrong.  This is a testament to the frustration of the American public who is likely trying to answer the question, “What the heck? How did a silent, black and white movie win out over Cowboys and Aliens?”

Saints ancient heart stolen from Dublin cathedral.  Some weeks it’s a challenge to find bizarre/idiotic headlines to mock. This was not one of those weeks.  Someone stole the preserved heart of St. Laurence O’Toole, patron saint of Dublin, from the Christ Church Cathedral.  There are so many things wrong with this, where do we begin?  Have these burglars ever heard of Karma?  Watch Raiders of the Lost Ark for crying out loud.  You don’t run around stealing the mummified remains of revered religious figures.  That’s like dropping 20 mirrors at once, or walking under a dozen ladders in the same day.  It’s just not done.  Further, in Burglary for Dummies, chapter one outlines the importance of having a buyer for your stolen goods.  Is there an underground market for one of a kind mummified body parts?  You get caught peddling something like this, and it’s going to be hard to manufacture an alibi for your innocence.  It’s not like you’re trying to unload a couple dozen stolen car stereos.  If you want the heart of a saint, then be a good person.  You can start with not stealing treasured religious relics. 

Illegal Butt Injections Arrest.  Again, this was just a bit too easy this week. Padge Victoria Windslowe, of Philadelphia, who touts herself as the “Black Madame” is being held on 10 million dollars bail for charges related to illegal injections that have caused lung complications in one of her clients, and possibly killed another.  According to the story, Windslowe charged $700- $1800 for the injections.  Investigators are still trying to figure out exactly what Windslowe injected her clients/victims with.  Those of you living in the Bakken know that women don’t have to get injections from questionable outlets to have a large ba-dunka-dunk.  They need only be on a steady diet of steak and Little Debbie snack cakes.  And you can buy a whole lotta carb-laden butt enhancers for $700- $1800.  All these gals would have to do is suffer through a long North Dakota winter to get a pleasantly plump back-side. 

New England Patriots receiver peed on by a lion.  True story- we’re not lion (ah, ha, ha- sorry). Chad Ochocino (that last name sounds made-up- isn’t that Spanish for eight and five?) was attending a charity event in Miami when a caged lion urinated on him.  The lion was not available for questioning, so we are left to speculate about what motivated the lion to engage in such a socially inappropriate act.  Perhaps he was “pissed” that the Patriots lost the Super Bowl (sorry again- couldn’t resist).  Maybe another lion dared him to do it (being in a cage gets boring- you’ve got to make your own fun).  Perhaps the lion isn’t a fan of the Christian Louboutin shoes Ochocino was wearing.  Maybe the lion was so excited to meet a celebrity, he couldn’t help himself.  We may never know what the lion was thinking, but reps for the charity event say the lion has been banned from next year’s event and is being asked to pay for Ochocino’s shoes.

*Note: Please seek traditional media outlets for real news and headlines. This feature is only meant to distract you from the daily grind of the oil fields for a few moments and add some levity to your day .

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook.

From the moment you visit the official town website in Stanley, North Dakota, you are greeted with a warm welcome and a deep sense of community.  Whether you are seeking “a new place to live, looking for a business site, or considering a place to retire” you are welcomed with small town openess and sincerity.  So, it’s no small surprise that city leaders passed  over 400+ developers before they settled on Dean Dovolis, who wasn’t even a developer.  It was Dovolis’ ”spark of brilliance” according to Stanley City Council  member Lindahl and his encouragement of city planners to do something more than “just keep sticking houses in a cul-de-sac” and choose to “really make a contribution and change the direction of the city” in the midst of the Bakken boom that landed him his first development opportunity in this land of huge economic opportunity.

Dovolis may have been armed with a Harvard  degree in urban design and the financial backing from investors, but this Minneapolis architect, whose local economy was struggling, didn’t venture into North Dakota in November 2010 with a slick pre-packaged presentation.  He entered the marketplace equipped with the intuition to build relationship, rapport, and trust with members of the community.   From his first stop at Joe’s Pizza in Stanley and sketch of what he would do with a city owned parcel of land on a Stanley pizza delivery map, to the presentation of his proposal before the city council that very night; Dean was sharing his genuine concept of “creating communities”.

The city council selected his plan, Annabelle Homes was formed (named for his wife, Anna),  financial assistance was provided by family and friends, and Devolis’ North Dakota adventure began. The city agreed to give Annabelle Homes the land, and in exchange the company would take care of the water, sewer, streets and parks, a cost of $1.4 million.  Additionally, the company makes monthly contributions to emergency service providers to offset the city’s expenses while the homes are not generating property taxes.

Annabelle’s “Homes for the Heartland” in Stanley consist of an initial 15-acre development with 28 single family homes, 25 town homes, a two-story office building and a two-story convenience store and office building.  It’s Annabelle Homes concept of a family-friendly community with an urban neighborhood feel that sets it apart from the landscape of cold steel commercial buildings, bland man camps, the hodge podge RV parks.   A vision of communities that reaches beyond the short-term to a commitment over generations, the focus is on building legacy neighborhoods.

Dovolis’ reputation is leading to additional developments in Stanley, Tioga, Kenmare, Columbus, Hazen, and Beulah, North Dakota. Dovolis anticipates Annabelle Homes will be working in North Dakota for the next 20 years, and “look(s) at these developments as the beginning of the transformation of western North Dakota,” It’s Dovolis belief that “if this is done right is you can create a very powerful, diverse economy.”

To learn more about Annabell Homes, visit their website

FDA to review inhalable caffeine.  Is there no end to our society’s greed for instant gratification?  First there was “Easy Mac,” because making regular Mac-n-Cheese was SO labor intensive, what with all the boiling water and everything.  THEN, there was Go-gurt, because who has time to peel the top off a yogurt and get a spoon when you can just squirt yogurt in your face at arm’s length?  Now inhalable caffeine?  Come on.  Get off your lazy “tuchus” (Yiddish for backside) and brew a pot of coffee or pop the tab on a can of Diet Mountain Dew.  Who cares about the health hazard of inhalable caffeine?  The FDA should reject it solely on the premise that it encourages acute laziness.

Rosie O’Donnell says little people make her anxious.  On her new show (the fact that Rosie has a new

Whitney Houston funeral.  Here’s what you need to know about the death of Whitney Houston as it pertains to headlines this week.  Whitney is still deceased.  Kevin Costner spoke at her funeral.  Bobby Brown paid quick respects and left; apparently he is unwelcome by Whitney’s family who blames him for her drug use. Her house in New Jersey is for sale.  America collectively rolled its eyes when the New Jersey governor ordered that flags be flown at half-staff.  I don’t want to seem insensitive- Whitney was talented and all, but can we get back to honoring this country’s real heroes please?  (Sing the following to the tune of ‘I will always love you’): “I-ee-I am over it.”  And yes, I did rip off David Spade from SNL.  We’re friends on Facebook, so I’m sure he won’t mind.

DogTV is a real cable channel.  So if you think that TV has gone to the dogs, you’d be right.  Introducing

cable television’s first channel just for dogs.  For about $5 a month, Fido can plop in front of the TV while you are gone, and be babysat by Mr. Roger-esque programming for dogs.  What’s next?  Reality Dog TV? “Adult” Dog TV?  Dog News TV? Will ESPN launch a channel with dogs playing Frisbee 24 hours a day?  What makes us think dogs WANT to watch TV?  We don’t want to stick our heads out the window when we’re tooling down the highway at 60mph.  We don’t want to lap water out of bowl on the floor.  We don’t want to catch things with our mouths.  Since this train has left the station, we’ll just have to sit back and wait for the premiere of “Doggie Shore” and “The Real Housedogs of Beverly Hills.” 

*Note: Please seek traditional media outlets for real news and headlines. This feature is only meant to distract you from the daily grind of the oil fields for a few moments and add some levity to your day .

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook.

Every weekday night David Letterman delivers his signature series “The Top 10”. Some nights are funnier than others; as are the numbered items since they each come from a different vantage point as “The Top 10” theme is spoofed. Recently Forbes announced it’s Top 10 – “America’s Fastest Growing Small Towns”. The criteria Forbes used in determining this list is based upon census data which was used to calculate the growth in population between 2007 and 2010 for every MSA (Metropolitan and Micropolitan Statistical Area) with fewer than 100,000 people. It’s no small surprise that Williston, North Dakota made this list, albeit No. 6. With expanded oil exploring, drilling, and production in the Bakken Shale Formation, folks are “Flockin’ to the Bakken” in record numbers. Overall, Williston, the Bakken epicenter, saw a 14.6% growth in population to 22,398. Unemployment remains virtually non-existent (below .9%) and median income is $55,396.

If you are in Watford City, North Dakota, just 40 minutes (depending on the truck traffic) south of Williston you are probably scratching your head and thinking, “Wait a minute, we grew from a community of @ 1,500 to a nightmare of @ 6,000 in the same time frame”! Setting aside all North Dakotan jokes here, even we in Montana can do the math…that’s a growth rate of….ummmmm….well, it’s more than 14.6%.

Forbes readily admits that their process in determining the Top 10 is flawed in that truly small towns in America are excluded from this ranking as MSAs are required to have at least a population of 10,000. Given the relatively rural nature of towns in western North Dakota, most communities impacted by the Bakken energy wave weren’t even considered.

“If you don’t know what you’re doing, you can be sure that someone else does”, is a quaint, old small town saying that usually gives us a chuckle. However, it may be more than just a quaint, old saying! The Williston Herald, Williston’s local newspaper recently conducted a nonscientific survey whereby they posed the question to their local readership:

“What grade would you give local leaders on how they have managed Williston’s growth in the past four years?”

A They have done a great job.   8%             

B They have done an adequate job.  9%

C They have done OK, but could have done it much better.   21%

D They have made many mistakes, and we are all in trouble because of it.  26%

F They have failed miserably, and need to be replaced.  35%

OK, before we all rush to grab our calculators and determine this doesn’t total 100%, the lost 1% is due to rounding.

Are the community stakeholders saying that the local leadership doesn’t know what they are doing and this survey is reflective of that sentiment? Or is the town simply growing so fast that normalcy is out of the question? To be certain these situations are often fraught with a lack of communication, isolation of community leadership, and an inescapable feeling of not knowing what the blank is going on. As Williston leadership reacts or proactively responds to this energy tsunami, there may appear to be a real lack of consensus among the local populace. Unfortunately these feelings all of which are part of feeling out of control, can lead to the collective misgivings and apprehension that Aaron Levenstein was right when he said, “Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.”

If we are to truly and effectively leverage this huge economic opportunity for our communities, we need to get beyond announcing the misgivings and collective fears. Almost every day the Williston Wire and the mainstream media promote great and wonderful stats about the energy activity in North Dakota. Yet, at the same time a day doesn’t go buy here at Synergy Station that we don’t receive a call or an email from someone in the Bakken community who is at the end of their rope, because they can’t take it anymore. They want some normalcy, some predictability, some calm in the middle of this storm. Though it may be difficult if we work together I for one believe we can bring a bit of much desire respite without giving up on the opportunity. If we all choose not to focus on the hype and hoopla we will be in a position to clearly see the facts that matter most. Then we sort and filter down the noise and begin working “on the problem” and not “the symptoms”. Let’s look beyond the numbers, the stats and determine what they conceal – it is vital to our success.

Kristen Bell breaks down over gift. Celebrities are all about the “one-upping” and this applies to pet ownership as well. The rest of us stick to cats and dogs.  Once in awhile we’ll throw a bird in the mix.  And yeah, a few people have snakes and spiders.  But celebrities have to bring home monkeys, pet house-pigs and now sloths.  Kristen Bell so loves sloths that her boyfriend got her one as a gift (what? Was the pet store out of Hairy-Nosed Wombats?).  Her boyfriend then proceeded to video her freakishly emotional response.  All of this ridiculousness leads us to ask just one question. Who is Kristen Bell?

Climbers summit Kilimanjaro barefoot.  A group of climbers took to Mt. Kilimanjaro, barefoot, to raise money for a children’s charity and to “make a statement.”  We get the raising money for charity part, but we’re not sure exactly what statement is being made here.  “We never listened to Mom when she told us not to go outside barefoot,” or “Shoes, when climbing in extreme conditions including snow and ice, are for suckers,” or “We’re a pack of bored rich kids in desperate need of attention.”  Okay, maybe that last one was a bit harsh.  But come on.  Summiting a mountain barefoot?  There has to be an easier way to get in the news. 

Madonna’s Super Bowl halftime show.  Or should we say side-show?  If you missed the Super Bowl, then you missed Madonna’s halftime smoke and mirrors festival.  At least we think it was Madonna.  These days Madge, after going under the knife, is looking more like Priscilla Presley who is, after going under the knife, looking like The Joker.  We also can’t be certain that the performer was Madonna because the woman who looks like Priscilla Presley who looks like The Joker lip-synched through the entire show.  It really could have been anyone.  Maybe it was The Joker, in a blonde wig.  One thing we can be certain of? Sir Elton John, who has been sparring with the Material Girl lately, is reveling in the abundant material the embarrassing display has provided.

Ford asks Chevy to pull ad from Super Bowl.  In a little pre-game drama, Ford asked Chevy to pull its apocalypse ads that tout Chevy trucks as more durable and longer lasting.  In the ad, Chevy truck drivers pull through the apocalypse and Ford truck drivers don’t.  Ford maintains that Chevy exaggerates its claims that they offer the better truck.  Chevy maintains that Ford is run by a bunch of babies.  As we now know, Chevy and NBC did not pull the ad.  That might have been a bit awkward, since Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning won a brand new Chevy corvette.  Maybe if Ford wants to give away cars to MVP players, they may have a little more clout when it comes to which ads get aired and which ones don’t.  Since everyone knows that only Cher and cockroaches will survive an apocalypse, we think Cher should buy a Chevy Silverado pickup. 

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass  via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook.

*Note: Please seek traditional media outlets for real news and headlines. This feature is only meant to distract you from the daily grind of the oil fields for a few moments and add some levity to your day .

Fran Drescher was kidnapped by aliens.  On a related note, Fran Drescher of The Nanny and Happily Divorced claims she was kidnapped by aliens, and that the aliens planted a chip in her hand.  She left out the part where the aliens planted a chip in her voice box that makes her sound like a unique mix of fingernails-down-a-chalkboard with a hint of clothespin-over-her-nose.  Turns out her ex-husband was also kidnapped by aliens and has a similar scar on his hand, leading Fran to the logical conclusion that they were “programmed to meet.”  Evidently, they were not programmed to stay married. We’d think the comedic actress was just making a joke, but she followed her declaration with, “in all seriousness.”  Cynics may say that Fran’s alien story is just a thinly-veiled attempt to generate interest for Season 2 of Happily Divorced.  We think Fran should lend her alien expertise to Newt on the campaign trail.  “In all seriousness.” 

Men more likely to experience memory loss than women.  This fascinating study, conducted by “Guys Who Forget the Stuff You Tell Them and are Tired of Being Yipped at About It*,” showed that men are more likely than women to experience “Mild Cognitive Impairment,” or MCI.  Ding, ding, ding.  We even have an acronym to validate this “condition.”   Dr. Claudia Kawas, professor in  the department of neurology and neurobiology and behavior at the University of California told ABC News that this “syndrome” is often due to early Alzheimer’s disease but can also be due to strokes, vitamin deficiencies, thyroid disease, drugs including prescription ones, alcohol or just not feeling well that day.  Dr. Kawas covered just about all the bases there.  She left out the MCI may also come on during a football game, during an episode of Manswers on Spike TV, or during hunting season. 

*The real name of the study, if you actually need to know is: The Incidence of MCI Differs by Subtype and is Higher in Men

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass  via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook.

Like most decisions in life, the choices we make  can be a double edged sword.  On the one hand, an oil boom can spell immense economic opportunity; on the other hand it can completely mow over a community, a culture, and a way of life.  With the advent of technological advances in the recovery of unconventional oil & gas formations, Williston was transformed from a quiet farm town into 24/7/365  dynamic commerce and chaos… and the black oil rush is on !

Central Montanan’s “mini Bakken” which ranges from the base of the Snowy Mountains west of Lewistown to Jordan, MT in Garfield County, appears to be home to yet another played-out oil field brought to technological life.  For half a century, geologists have known that the Heath Formation (250 miles wide from east to west and 150 miles wide from north to south) held oil and natural gas formed from tropical forests and swamps about 320 million years ago, during the Mississippian period of the Paleozoic Era.  At that point in prehistory, North America and Eurasia were one and the Great Plains lay under seawater.

As early as February of 1920, the Heath Formation was tapped with a discovery well in the Cat Creek area of Petroleum County.  At it’s peak, the Cat Creek area supported 150 wells and estimated production ranges from 23 to 35  million barrels of oil depending upon the source of information. The latest productive oil reached the surface in 1990, at which point the inability to economically harvest the remaining oil trapped in the minerals left the Heath abandoned and forgotten.  Until now…enter the modern oil man.  Equipped with the latest in horizontal drilling and hydraulic fracturing technology and a once forgotten area is rediscovered.

Six companies have since bored into Heath shale with vertical wells; collecting core samples in order to determine if the formation is significant enough to support the application of current drilling technology.  The average cost of a well using this techonology in the Bakken ranges from $7 to $9 million and while success rates range @ 95%, this type of drilling is an extremely expensive proposition.  It is known that the Heath oil shale formation is the source for the Tyler Sandstone; what isn’t know is whether or not horizontal / fracturing technology will work in this part of Montana.  Geologist studies reveal the Heath can range from 10 feet thick to 40 feet thick and shale depths vary from 2,000 to 5,000 feet.

The landmen began showing up 18 months ago in Garfield County (Jordan) to determine ownership in mineral rights.  In Winnett, the county seat for Petroleum County there are at least five landmen in the records vault daily.  In spite of increased activity, no one is saying much.  Competition is every where….speculation is everywhere.

San Antonio, TX based, Central Montana Resources LLC (CMR) operates out of an office in downtown Billings.  This private oil & gas company holds the lease on mineral rights in six central Montana counties and has partnered with major players such as Endeavor.  CMR has been on the ground in Montana for much of the past five years and in 2010, CMR announced a $47 million investor infusion to further its Heath formation exploration.  The base in the Heath is anchored north of Roundup where the company is building a warehouse and pipeyard.  While CMR is very much in the exploration phase, was wells begin to produce exploration will end and commercialization will start overnight.

Mark Wahlberg sparks controversy- This week’s most embarrassing celebrity moment goes to Mark Wahlberg who (in reference to one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center) was quoted in Men’s Journal as saying, “If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”  Oops.  Statements like this prove what the rest of already know, which is that celebrities sometimes lose a grip on reality.  This quote may have been appropriate if Mr. Wahlberg was talking about a MOVIE he was starring in about 9/11 (where the blood is fake and the dialogue is scripted by writers), as opposed to the actual event.  It goes without saying that the survivors of the real victims on board the planes that hit the WTC were less than entertained by the entertainer’s comments.  Wahlberg to his credit immediately apologized for his ludicrous statement.  It will be great fun seeing what Saturday Night Live does with this blunder.

Anthony Bourdain renders snide comment about Paula Deen- On the heels of our headline last week about Paula Deen having diabetes, Anthony Bourdain (of No Reservations) was spoon fed the opportunity to take a public dig at this arch nemesis.  Paula Deen’s diabetes was only part of last week’s headline.  The byline to this “story” is that Ms. Deen is now the paid spokesperson for Novo Nordisk, a drug for the disease.  The adored-by-many Bourdain delivered his trademark sarcasm when he tweeted, “Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business so I can profitably sell crutches later.” Ouch.  Is there anything more delicious than celebrity rivalries?

Kardashian’s 15 minutes may be up…Darn.  Most of us agree the Kardashian’s 15 minutes were up about 14 ½ minutes ago.  It seems promoters, petitioners and even the New York Post are all calling for an end to this sideshow.  So what was it exactly that made America turn on these darlings of “reality” TV?  The overindulgence?  The whiny voices?  The marriage for profit?  The divorce for profit?  The “reality” that no one gives a rip?  No wonder there have been headlines everywhere about the paternity of Khloe Kardashian and about Bruce Jenner being a cross-dresser.  “Alex, I’ll take desperate attempts to stay in the lime light for $1000 please.”

Facebook making some people sad- A study by Utah Valley University studied college students and tried to draw a somewhat weak conclusion that people who view the happy pictures of friends on Facebook are sad.  Well, yeah.  If you’re living variously through other people and the fun they are having, while wasting scads of time on Facebook- that is kind of sad.  Maybe Utah Valley University could conduct a study of people who step away from Facebook for 10 minutes and do something worth taking a picture of so they can conclude that those people are happier.  As a side-note, I’m not a researcher, scientist, statistician, or data collector but I’m just wondering is a study involving 425 college students an accurate measure by which any solid conclusion can be drawn about a population of over 300 million people?

Tough week for celebrity real estate – Maybe you remember reading a couple of weeks ago that Tiger Woods’ ex demolished a 12 million dollar estate in Florida, alledgedly due to a terminte problem.  (There are people who handle these kinds of issues.)  The real estate woes for celebrities continue this week with reports of Kobe Bryant losing THREE mansions in Newport Beach in his divorce settlement (let this be a lesson to any of you chronic cheaters out there – a $4 million “sorry I’m a jerk” diamond ring will only buy you some time & not much of it!)  Lastly, if you are making some bank in the oil fields and would like to invest in real estate, Joe Montana is rumored to be selling his vaction home outside of San Francisco for “$35 million bucks a dramatic price reduction from his original asking price of $49 million.  Times are tough for everyone right now – or so it would appear…

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass  via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook.

]]> http://synergystation.com/economy/oil-ng-coal-plays/bakken/too-frackin-busy/what-happened-in-the-world-this-week-while-you-were-in-the-oil-patch-were-too-frackn-busy-to-notice-part-ii/feed/ 0 http://synergystation.com/economy/oil-ng-coal-plays/bakken/too-frackin-busy/what-happened-in-the-world-this-week-while-you-were-in-the-oil-patch-were-too-frack%e2%80%99n-busy-to-notice/ http://synergystation.com/economy/oil-ng-coal-plays/bakken/too-frackin-busy/what-happened-in-the-world-this-week-while-you-were-in-the-oil-patch-were-too-frack%e2%80%99n-busy-to-notice/#comments Mon, 16 Jan 2012 02:18:49 +0000 KatHobza http://synergystation.com/?p=2270 *Note:  Please seek traditional media outlets for real news and headlines. This feature is only meant to distract you from the daily grind of the oil fields for a few moments and add some levity to your day .

The Golden Globes are tonight!  This means two things:  First, the annual Hollywood Awards season is kicking off.  And if history holds, millions of dollars will soon be spent on a campaign designed to do little more than remind everyone just how talented and important Hollywood believes it is.  The Golden Globes will be followed by the People’s Choice Awards, The Screen Actors Guild Awards, Producer’s Guild Awards, Directors Guild Awards, the Annual Critics Choice Awards, the Art Directors Guild Awards, the Cinema Audio Society Awards, The Writers Guild Awards, the Visual Effects Society Awards, the American Society of Cinematographers Awards, the Golden Reel Awards, the Independent Spirit Awards, all of which pave the way to the Mac-Daddy of Awards shows- The Oscars.  Wow!  That’s a lot of positive affirmation for one industry.  Second, a gaggle of movies we’ve never heard of and have no desire to see will be recognized.  Why doesn’t Hollywood call all of these award shows what they really are:  “A desperate attempt to get people to watch box-office busts.”  Think I’m being too harsh?  A TWO HOUR SILENT MOVIE is nominated for the Golden Globes.  I rest my case. 

Beyonce gave birth last Saturday.  Only celebrities make headlines for doing what the rest of us have been doing forever (minus the fanfare and the swanky hospital rooms).  The only noteworthy thing you need to know about this (yes, I’m taking some liberties with the words “noteworthy” AND “need-to-know”) is that Beyonce and her hubby named their baby Blue Ivy Carter.  Hmmm…Purple Clematis Clinton must have already been taken. 

Russian space probe to crash to Earth within hours.  Well, we have two ways to respond to this headline:  Stay inside or duck !

Sarah Palin disses First Lady Michelle Obama.  When Michelle Obama defended her husband’s presidency with, “some may be confused about all that has been accomplished,” Sarah Palin responded with, “Oh Lord. Oh Lord! Are we just numb-skulls out here in the heartland of America? Just a bunch of numb-skulls who can’t read the unemployment numbers and see that 5 trillion dollars in new debt…under her husband, President Obama.  Five trillion dollars more…and we still have fewer jobs today than we had before he took over.”  In related news, Sarah Palin changed her hairstyle, which was actually a bigger headline than her taking on the First Lady.

Paula Deen reportedly has Type 2 Diabetes.  Huh.  Can we get a “der”?  Is this really news?  It’s never appropriate to revel in the misfortunes of others, and that is not what is happening here.  That said, you don’t have to be a dietitian to know that if you place butter on one bottom corner of the food pyramid, and pork products on the other bottom corner, you’re not just brewing up a recipe for dinner.  You’re also brewing up a recipe for health issues.  On a positive note, Paula presumably does not want her fans to be adversely affected by her recipes (or doesn’t want the lawsuits), so she now has “Very Veggie Recipes,” as well as lighter versions of her recipes and ideas on how to prepare “winter greens.” 

North Korea to punish insincere mourners at Supreme Leader Kim Jong II’s memorial.  Uh, don’t people have to be sad in order to cry? I typically try to put a humorous spin on outrageous or useless headlines, but there really is nothing funny about this country and the regime that its people are forced to live under. It remains a global civil liberties embarrassment.  Our hearts go out to people who couldn’t muster up the appropriate amount of dismay for the passing of a dictator who has taken 200,000 political prisoners. 

Connect with Kat’s special brand of sarcasm and sass  via her Synergy Station Directory listing and follow funny freelance on Facebook. 

]]> http://synergystation.com/economy/oil-ng-coal-plays/bakken/too-frackin-busy/what-happened-in-the-world-this-week-while-you-were-in-the-oil-patch-were-too-frack%e2%80%99n-busy-to-notice/feed/ 2 http://synergystation.com/economy/oil-ng-coal-plays/alberta-oil-sands/the-supply-demand-for-canadian-oil-sands/ http://synergystation.com/economy/oil-ng-coal-plays/alberta-oil-sands/the-supply-demand-for-canadian-oil-sands/#comments Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:12:33 +0000 Laura McRae http://synergystation.com/?p=1024

1. Canada is the #1 supplier of crude oil to the United States; supplying over 2.4 million bopd (1.2 million bopd comes from Canada’s oil sands)
2. Canadian oil reserves are the second largest in the world; Saudi Arabia’s are the first
3. Canadian estimated reserves are 178 billion barrels (97% are located in the oil sands)
4. Oil sand production in Canada could create an estimated 343,000 new jobs in the United States over the next five years
5. Oil sands demand for American companies’ goods and services could contribute as much as $34 billion to the US GDP in 2015 and up to $42 billion by 2025
6. Over the past decade, US import of Canadian crude oil has increased from 13% to 22%
7. The US Energy Information Agency anticipates that fossil fuels will still supply over 75% of the US energy consumption in 2035
8. By 2035, Canada could be providing up to 40% of US crude oil imports

Source: The Oil Sands Developers Group

If you’ve been following the Bakken oil patch you’ve become aware that this is a world class technology oil play that is a complete game changer.  This is not a boom, but rather permanent industrial infrastructure that is unfolding before our very eyes.  What is booming however are jobs!

In traditional job hunting you find the job first and look for a place to live second.  Throughout the Bakken oil patch it’s the exact opposite.  According to Kevin Paschke, Executive Director of the Williston Chamber of Commerce you should, “Focus most of your time on trying to find housing.  Because if you can find housing you can secure a job.  So don’t think it’s a 90% job hunt, like you do where you’re at, and 10% housing.  It’s 90% housing and 10% looking for the job.”

Harold Hamm, CEO of Continental Resources believes that there are over 18,000 existing openings in the “patch”.  And that number is only going to grow.  While there are currently 3,000 wells either completed or under development in North Dakota, it’s estimated that the Bakken will eventually house 50,000 oil wells. Even after completion, most of these wells will produce for 30 years.  It will take 8 to 10 direct and indirect employees to support each completed well.  This not only translates to jobs now, but in the future.  It means massive industrial, commercial and residential infrastructure to support this land of prosperity.